Eat, Pray, Love
 
By Hyon O'Brien

Last Christmas our eldest daughter gave me a book by Elizabeth Gilbert with the intriguing title ``Eat, Pray, Love'' and the inscription, ``Dear Mom, This book is in the tradition of my travelogue gift-giving: read and tell me if you recommend it."

Do I recommend this book? Yes, certainly, definitely, by all means. I read it in one sitting in Maui where we were vacationing at the time and went on to use it for our book club in Seoul, as well as making it my default gift for almost everyone on birthdays, house visits, thank-yous and farewells. Most recently I presented this book to a South African businessman who is leaving Seoul for Singapore. His comment in his thank-you e-mail, ``I initially thought this book was a woman's book but as I started reading, I could not put it down,'' attests to its magnetic power to hold one's attention.

After a bitter divorce the author managed to persuade her publisher to provide an advance for this book and went on to travel for one year in Italy, India and Indonesia. Her purpose was to heal herself and to find direction in her life and this she does beautifully within 12 months. Wow, what a woman! Now this book is translated into more than 30 languages and has been on the New York Times bestseller list since its publication in 2006. The book was on the Oprah Winfrey Show and selected as one of the most notable 100 books in 2006 by the New York Times but in my opinion the primary strength of the book is the sticky factor of the book. It seems to speak to every one of us regardless of national, cultural, racial or gender differences.

Eating: Eating has always been one of the greatest ways for people to bond with others. Families who eat together, stay together; gathering around a table and eating together deepens and strengthens family unity and cohesion. Researchers have found that families who regularly converse over meals develop more affection for one another and a greater sense of belonging. According a Penn State study, students of high reading abilities and affinities have one thing in common: their families eat dinner together. They are exposed to more extensive vocabularies and learn to articulate themselves better than those who do not eat together. Real food for thought!!!

Another benefit of eating: in new places, it is one sure way of getting to know the culture and the country you are visiting. Just like local markets, a country's eating places and approaches to cuisine reveal an important aspect of its culture.

Living in Seoul, we have formed and continue the tradition of having a dinner club wherever we happen to reside. Three or four couples get together at regular intervals. Each host couple selects a restaurant or prepares a meal at their home. In an effort to introduce our friends to new places we seek out new eateries, including ``hole-in-the-wall'' places, and when we discover an unusually good place we frequent it on our own as well. In our neighborhood there are many Japanese residents so we have a fair number of Japanese restaurants. More or less by accident, just by walking and poking around our neighborhood, we found a tiny out-of-the-way place called Ryou: just a couple of tables and a counter with very little decoration, located up a stairway obscured by an arcade ― hard to find even if you know where it is. But it has fabulous Japanese food at very reasonable prices. We regularly bring ex-pat friends there congratulating our luck in finding fine dining where it's least expected.

Praying: While I was reading ``Eat, Pray, Love," the author's long hours of prayer and spiritual meditation and seeking God in India impressed me greatly. As a Christian with long years of prayer and devotion myself, I find this kind of spiritual wrestling quite remarkable. I have lots to learn from her ― not from her new-age style religion but from the sincerity and discipline with which she approached it. I plan to continue to pray for Korea and its future. I also include President Lee in my prayers, that he will receive wisdom from God and humbly walk with God. Prophet Micah says in the Old Testament, ``What does the Lord require of you? To do justice, to love kindness and walk humbly with your God.'' This is my fervent prayer for this country, people and its political leaders.

Loving: At bottom, most literature and music and drama ― high-brow or low, classics and pot boilers, grand opera or rock, TV or films ― seem to deal with love and what it means to us: loss, happiness, yearning, pain, and everything else. As long as humanity endures, the question of love will continue. Love of God and people are the main focus.

Ms. Gilbert finds her love in Bali by meeting a Brazilian man named Felipe who became her husband. She said in her interview that their union remains a lovely, nourishing, happy love story. I wish them well. She also showed a random act of kindness for a single parent/healer named Wayan in Bali: she e-mailed all her friends asking for donations to which she added her own money. Wayan and her daughter were able to buy a small parcel of land to build a modest house.

St. Francis tells us to pray not to be loved so much as to love. Most of us strongly desire to be loved, but I think it is more desirable to initiate love and extend it than to wait for the love to come. It is in giving that we receive. So starting this moment onwards, let's love generously. Let's make our love contagious to everyone who comes in contact with us. In doing so we will reap the unexpected bonus of receiving love from unexpected corners. How lovely!

Hyon O' Brien, a former reference librarian in the U.S., has returned to Korea after 32 years of living abroad. She can be reached at hyonobrien@gmail.com